“I laughed hard on nearly every page of this shockingly intimate travel memoir and deeply funny book.” — Stephen Colbert
“We thought you were starving Hungarians,” Jim howled. “No offense, but I’d never heard tell of an American as dirty as the two of you.”
“No Touch Monkey is shocking and scatological and straight-out hilarious… a delightful hybrid of Hemingway, David Sedaris and Helen Fielding.” — Kate Zambreno, New City
“Greg writhed on the twin bed opposite mine, whispering threats to the ceiling fan…”
An almost shamefully entertaining travelogue of backpacking mishaps, ill-placed trust, and gastric distress. — Andi Zeisler, Bitch Magazine
“The doctor produced an enormous hypodermic full of procaine penicillin and asked us to lower our pants. Bradford went first. “It feels like someone’s shooting peanut butter into my ass!” he yowled.
Not just a sweet read, but an object lesson in what to do when, as they say, “shit happens.” — Marion Winik, Austin Chronicle
Why take their word for it? Read an excerpt to learn why grass milkshakes, thug monkeys and an unbolted door can be a dangerous combination!
If you, unlike the reviewer for Library Journal (“Perhaps Halliday considers immature behavior, ignorance, and irresponsibility funny, but, in the words of Queen Victoria, ‘We are not amused.’ “) enjoy reading about my travels, you’re going to love reading my thoughts on reading while traveling in this feverish essay for this feverish essay for Powell’s Books.
Should your wanderlust remain unabated, belt yourself into your armchair and join me in Whogoslavia. I have heard that there are people who take their children on vacation to Disney World, but I advocate taking the little twerps to Bosnia…
More of the whirlwind type? Check out the “Armchair Travel to 5 Essential Cities” tour I conducted as a Guest Curator on the mighty mighty Etsy:
I’ll look at you like this if you post a positive customer review of this book on Amazon. Show me some stars! Stick it to that Library Journal reviewer and her ilk!
No Touch Monkey! And Other Lessons Learned Too Late © 2003 by Ayun Halliday